Belonging Somewhere – What makes us mentally well?

The feeling of belonging, having connections, and the ability to immerse ourselves in what we do are all fundamental to our well-being. These are not separate entities but reinforce one another: relationships provide security, community provides identity, and flow provides experience and momentum. In our article series, we discussed these topics with Dr. Balázs Pankász, a psychologist at the Centre for Occupational Health and Hygiene at Work of the University of Pécs Clinical Centre.

Why do humans need to feel that they belong somewhere? Is there an evolutionary basis for this?
The desire to belong is not merely an emotional need but a deeply embedded mode of operation. If we look back at the history of human development, it is clear that belonging to a community was, for a long time, a literal condition for survival.

Those who lived in groups were safer, had easier access to food, and could better adapt to their environment. This "predisposition" still lives within us today, even if our lives no longer depend on it.

In everyday life, this manifests as a need for relationships, feedback, and the feeling that we matter to someone. When someone finds their place in a community—be it a university, a circle of friends, or a workplace—it provides stability, security, and self-confidence. Conversely, the lack of this can easily lead to uncertainty and isolation.

What are the mental consequences of long-term social isolation or the feeling of exclusion?
Persistent isolation means much more than just being alone. Over time, it affects how we think about ourselves and others. In such cases, people are more prone to interpreting situations negatively, assuming rejection more easily, and reinforcing the feeling that they don't belong anywhere. This can become a self-perpetuating cycle: the more someone withdraws, the harder it becomes to reconnect. Additionally, chronic loneliness increases anxiety, can worsen mood, and may lead to depressive states in the long run. It is no coincidence that psychological research identifies loneliness as one of the most significant mental risk factors.

How does collective identity aid individual coping?
When someone feels part of a community, it is not just a label but an internal resource. Belonging to a university, such as PTE, doesn’t just mean "I study here"; it means being part of this environment. This feeling becomes especially important in difficult situations. When someone is stressed, uncertain, or overwhelmed, it means a lot to know they are not alone and that there is a background they can connect to. Collective identity provides stability and helps an individual cope with challenges more easily. A supportive environment often means more than any individual coping strategy.

How can one maintain autonomy within a group?
Belonging to a community and maintaining independence are not mutually exclusive; in fact, healthy functioning requires both.

The ideal situation is when someone can connect with others while preserving their own thoughts, opinions, and boundaries. In practice, this means being able to say no, not being afraid to deviate from the majority opinion, and not feeling the constant need to conform.

A well-functioning community does not punish this; it supports it. In contrast, in an unhealthy environment, the suppression of individual differences appears, which causes tension and exhaustion in the long term.

What are the "red flags" that characterise a destructive community?
A community becomes problematic when it restricts rather than supports. Typical signs include the inability to express opinions honestly, criticism being treated as a taboo, or dissenting thoughts being punished with exclusion. It is also common for the group to develop an "us versus them" mentality, which narrows the individual's perspective. In these situations, after a while, a person is no longer present because they feel good, but because they fear leaving or losing their place.

How can we recognise if a community is no longer building us up but destroying us?
One of the simplest signs is how we feel after leaving a social situation. If we feel recharged, inspired, and good, then we are likely in the right place. However, if we become exhausted, tense, or uncertain, that is a warning sign. If a person constantly questions themselves in a community or feels they cannot be their authentic self, it is worth considering whether that environment truly has a positive effect on them.

What can someone do if they are lonely at university?
Feeling lonely in a new environment is completely natural, especially in the early years of university. It is important to see that relationships usually don’t form overnight but are built gradually. Often, the simplest steps matter most: a conversation after class, a coffee together, or participating in an event. You don’t need to strive for deep friendships immediately; small, everyday connections count for a lot. Over time, these can develop into a more stable network of relationships.

What are "emotional anchors"?
Emotional anchors are things or people that provide security and help us find our way back to a stable state. This could be a close friend, a family member, or even a familiar routine, such as sports or listening to music. These are particularly important during stressful periods because they provide something to hold onto. They can also be developed consciously, for example, by regularly dedicating time to the relationships and activities that recharge us.

Why do many people maintain their high school relationships?
High school connections are often very strong because they are formed during an intense, formative period. These relationships frequently provide security and continuity during the university years as well. At the same time, it is completely natural for them to change over time.

Not every relationship remains the same, and this is not a failure but a natural part of life. The appearance of new relationships doesn’t replace the old ones; it complements them.

How can one prepare for life situations abroad?
Studying or working abroad is exciting in many ways but can also be emotionally challenging. One of the most important things is to account for the fact that feelings of uncertainty and isolation are natural at the beginning. It is worth consciously opening up to new relationships while also maintaining existing bonds. The two together provide stability: new ones help you integrate, while old ones provide security.

How do these manifest in the workplace?
The workplace is also a kind of community where the need to belong appears just the same. A supportive team increases motivation and well-being, while an environment with a poor atmosphere can be particularly draining. Often, it is not the work itself, but the quality of relationships that determines whether someone feels good at a workplace.

This article was supported by the "Conscious Future with a Clear Head" grant from the Association of University Students of Pécs.

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